Purpose and Belonging

Freshman Year · Spiritual · Required Lesson

Purpose & Belonging

25–30 minutes Medium Required

Destination

By the end of this conversation, the mentee should be able to name one place they feel a sense of belonging and one thing that gives their life meaning right now.

Stop 1 of 4

Talk

Goal: Explore where the mentee already feels a sense of purpose or belonging, without treating “purpose” like it has to mean a future career.

“Purpose doesn’t have to be one big, dramatic answer. Sometimes it’s as simple as the people you show up for, or the things that make you feel like yourself.”

Choose three to five questions

1. Where do you feel most like yourself—a place, a group, an activity?
2. Is there something you do that makes you lose track of time?
3. Have you ever felt like you truly belonged somewhere? What made it feel that way?
4. Have you ever felt like you had to change who you are to fit in somewhere?
5. What’s something you care about that goes beyond just yourself?
Mentor Tip: Belonging can be complicated for mentees who’ve moved between homes, schools, or families. Be careful not to assume they have an obvious answer to “where do you belong”—the question itself might bring up real grief, and that’s okay to sit with.

Stop 2 of 4

Learn

Purpose isn’t just a career answer

People often think “purpose” means figuring out a future job. But purpose is broader than that—it’s about what gives your life meaning right now, today, not just someday.

ContributionHelping others, being useful, making things better
ConnectionRelationships that matter to you—family, friends, community
GrowthGetting better at something, learning, becoming who you want to be
CreativityMaking, building, or expressing something that’s yours
Route 21 Big Idea:
You don’t need to have your whole life figured out to have purpose right now. Purpose can be as small as showing up for someone today.

Belonging vs. fitting in

These two words get used interchangeably, but they’re actually different—and the difference matters.

Fitting inChanging who you are so a group accepts you
BelongingBeing fully yourself and still being accepted

True belonging doesn’t require hiding parts of yourself. If you have to pretend to be someone else to stay in a group, that’s fitting in—not real belonging.

Small acts of purpose

Purpose doesn’t have to be a grand mission. It can show up in small, everyday moments—checking in on a friend, doing a task well, showing up consistently for a team or family member.

Stop 3 of 4

Try

Map your belonging and purpose

Fill this in together, thinking about real places and people, not hypothetical ones.

A place I feel like myself___________
A person or group I belong with___________
Something that gives me a sense of purpose___________
Is there one small purposeful thing you could do for someone this week?

Choose Your Route

Pick the video that best fits your time and interest today. You only need to watch one.

Level 1 · Quick Stop

Belonging vs. Fitting In

Approximately 3–5 minutes

A short clip from researcher Brené Brown on the difference between belonging and fitting in.

Watch the Quick Stop
Talk afterward: Has there ever been a moment you were fitting in instead of truly belonging?

Level 2 · Scenic Route

Finding Your Purpose

Approximately 8–10 minutes

A TEDx talk from a teenager sharing her own perspective on discovering purpose and balance in life.

Take the Scenic Route
Talk afterward: Did anything in the talk match how you think about your own future?

Level 3 · Open Road

Have the Courage to Stand Alone: Find True Belonging

Approximately 10–15 minutes

A deeper conversation with Brené Brown on what real belonging requires—including the courage to be yourself even when it’s uncomfortable.

Explore the Open Road
Talk afterward: What would it take for you to feel like you could “stand alone” if you needed to?
Mentor Reminder: Let the mentee choose the route whenever possible. The real reflection above matters more than the video.

Stop 4 of 4

Grow

Reflection

What’s one place or relationship where you feel like you truly belong?
What’s one thing that gives your life meaning right now, today?
Is there a group or space where you feel like you’re just “fitting in” rather than belonging?
What questions do you still have?

Purpose grows over time

Your sense of purpose doesn’t have to be permanent or fully formed right now. It’s normal for it to shift and grow as you do.

How can your mentor help?

How can Route 21 help?

Is there a group, club, or community connected to something you care about that you’d want to explore?
Mentor Wrap-Up:
Did the mentee name something real, not just a textbook answer? If belonging brought up complicated feelings—loss, instability, disconnection—did you make space for that rather than rushing past it?