Naming Emotions

Freshman Year · Emotions · Required Lesson

Naming Emotions

25–30 minutes Medium Required

Destination

By the end of this conversation, the mentee should be able to describe a recent feeling using a more specific word than “fine,” “good,” or “bad.”

Stop 1 of 4

Talk

Goal: Get a sense of how the mentee currently talks about feelings—and normalize that most people default to a few vague words.

“Most of us describe our feelings with three words: good, bad, or fine. But feelings are way more specific than that—and the more specific the word, the easier it is to know what to actually do about it.”

Choose three to five questions

1. When someone asks how you’re doing, what do you usually say?
2. Is it easy or hard for you to describe exactly how you’re feeling?
3. What are some feeling words you use a lot?
4. Have you ever said “I’m fine” when you actually weren’t? What was really going on?
5. Do you think having more words for feelings would actually help you? Why or why not?
Mentor Tip: Many teens genuinely haven’t been taught a wide feelings vocabulary—not because they lack emotional depth, but because no one modeled it. This lesson is about expanding language, not about “fixing” how the mentee already talks.

Stop 2 of 4

Learn

Why “fine” doesn’t help you

“Fine,” “good,” and “bad” aren’t really feelings—they’re placeholders. They don’t tell you or anyone else what’s actually going on, which makes it hard to know what might actually help.

Route 21 Big Idea:
A vague feeling gives you nothing to work with. A specific feeling points toward a specific next step.

Vague vs. specific

VagueMore specific
“I feel bad.”“I feel embarrassed about what happened in class.”
“I feel weird.”“I feel nervous about tomorrow.”
“I’m fine.”“I’m disappointed, but I’ll be okay.”

Notice how the specific version points toward something you could actually do next—”embarrassed” might mean you want to talk it through; “nervous” might mean you want to prepare more.

Emotion families

Big, general feelings often have more specific relatives hiding underneath them. Learning a few options in each “family” gives you more to work with.

Instead of “mad”frustrated, irritated, resentful, on edge
Instead of “sad”disappointed, lonely, discouraged, heavy
Instead of “happy”relieved, proud, content, excited
Instead of “scared”anxious, nervous, uneasy, overwhelmed

You can feel more than one thing at once

Feelings aren’t one-at-a-time. You can be excited and nervous about the same thing, or proud and exhausted after the same day. Naming more than one feeling isn’t confusing—it’s often just accurate.

Stop 3 of 4

Try

Upgrade a vague feeling

Think of something going on right now, or recently. Start with the vague word, then get more specific.

A situation___________
My vague word for it___________
A more specific word___________
Now that you’ve named it more specifically, does anything feel different about the situation?

Choose Your Route

Pick the video that best fits your time and interest today. You only need to watch one.

Level 1 · Quick Stop

How to Use the Feelings Wheel

Approximately 3–5 minutes

A quick, practical look at how a feelings wheel can help expand your emotional vocabulary.

Watch the Quick Stop
Talk afterward: Did the wheel introduce a word you’d want to use more?

Level 2 · Scenic Route

How to Name & Understand Your Emotions

Approximately 8–10 minutes

An introduction to naming and understanding emotions, including why the skill matters and how to start building it.

Take the Scenic Route
Talk afterward: What’s one idea from the video you want to remember?

Level 3 · Open Road

You Aren’t at the Mercy of Your Emotions

Approximately 18 minutes

A widely-viewed TED talk from neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett on how emotions are actually built by the brain—and how much more control we have over them than we usually think.

Explore the Open Road
Talk afterward: Did anything in the video change how you think about where emotions come from?
Mentor Reminder: Let the mentee choose the route whenever possible. The vocabulary practice above matters more than the video.

Stop 4 of 4

Grow

Reflection

What’s a new feeling word from today you’d like to start using?
Is there a feeling you often lump into “fine” that actually deserves a more specific word?
Does naming a feeling more specifically change how you handle it?
What questions do you still have?

A simple habit to try

Once a day this week, instead of saying “I’m fine” or “I’m good,” try naming one more specific word for how you’re actually feeling—even just in your own head.

How can your mentor help?

How can Route 21 help?

Would a printed feelings wheel or word list be a useful tool for you to keep around?
Mentor Wrap-Up:
Did the mentee successfully name a real feeling with more specificity than “fine” or “bad”? Did the conversation feel safe enough for them to be honest about what’s actually going on?