Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Strategies

Freshman Year · Emotions · Required Lesson

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping

25–30 minutes Sensitive Required

Destination

By the end of this conversation, the mentee should be able to name a coping strategy that actually helps long-term, and know who to go to if their current coping isn’t working.

Stop 1 of 4

Talk

Goal: Understand what the mentee already does to handle hard feelings—without judgment, even if some of their current habits aren’t the healthiest.

“Everyone copes with hard feelings somehow. The goal isn’t to feel guilty about what you’ve used to get through tough times—it’s to add a few more tools that actually help long-term.”

Choose three to five questions

1. When you’re really stressed or upset, what do you usually do?
2. Is there something you do that helps in the moment but doesn’t really fix anything?
3. Who or what has helped you get through a hard time before?
4. Do you think your current way of coping is working for you, overall?
5. What’s something new you’d be willing to try the next time things feel like too much?
Mentor Tip: Avoid shaming any coping strategy the mentee mentions, even an unhealthy one—it likely worked for them at some point, which is exactly why it stuck. If self-harm, substance use, or anything safety-related comes up, stay calm, don’t overreact, and follow up separately to connect them with a counselor or other appropriate support.

Stop 2 of 4

Learn

What makes a coping strategy healthy or unhealthy

Coping is anything you do to manage a hard feeling. The difference between healthy and unhealthy coping isn’t about which one feels better in the moment—it’s about what happens afterward. Healthy coping deals with the feeling without creating new problems. Unhealthy coping often provides fast relief but adds new problems on top of the original one.

Route 21 Big Idea:
Unhealthy coping isn’t a character flaw—it’s usually just the fastest thing that worked once. The goal isn’t guilt about the past; it’s building a wider toolkit for next time.

Healthy vs. unhealthy: some examples

Tends to help long-term

  • Talking to someone you trust
  • Physical movement or exercise
  • Creative outlets—music, art, writing
  • Deep breathing or grounding
  • Time outdoors or in nature
  • Problem-solving the actual issue
  • Rest and sleep
  • Humor and laughter

Tends to create new problems

  • Substance use
  • Self-harm
  • Lashing out at others
  • Isolating and avoiding everyone
  • Risky or reckless behavior
  • Numbing out for hours at a time

Most people use a mix of both lists at different times—that’s normal. The goal is shifting the balance toward the left column, not achieving perfection.

If self-harm or substance use is part of your coping right now: that’s worth talking to a trusted adult, counselor, or doctor about—not something to handle alone or feel ashamed of. If it ever feels urgent, you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) anytime, for free and confidential support.

Stop 3 of 4

Try

Take inventory, without judgment

List a few things the mentee currently does to cope—both helpful and not-so-helpful—and sort them honestly.

Something that helps long-term___________
Something that helps short-term only___________
One new tool to try___________
What would make it easier to reach for the new tool the next time things feel hard?

Choose Your Route

Pick the video that best fits your time and interest today. You only need to watch one.

Level 1 · Quick Stop

Stress Management Tips for Kids and Teens

Approximately 3–5 minutes

A quick rundown of five simple, healthy ways to manage stress.

Watch the Quick Stop
Talk afterward: Which tip from the video would be easiest for you to actually try?

Level 2 · Scenic Route

Healthy Coping Strategies for Young People

Approximately 8–10 minutes

A closer look at practical coping strategies young people can use, and how to build them into a routine.

Take the Scenic Route
Talk afterward: Is there a strategy from the video you’ve never tried before?

Level 3 · Open Road

Coping Skills: Managing Feelings & Emotions

Approximately 15–20 minutes

A deeper, more thorough look at emotional regulation and coping skills for handling big feelings.

Explore the Open Road
Talk afterward: Which idea from the video connects most to what you’re dealing with right now?
Mentor Reminder: Let the mentee choose the route whenever possible. The honest inventory above matters more than the video.

Stop 4 of 4

Grow

Reflection

What’s one coping tool you’d actually want to add to your routine?
Is there a current coping habit you’d like to shift away from?
Who could help you practice a new coping strategy?
What questions do you still have?

Small shifts add up

You don’t need to overhaul everything at once. Adding one healthy tool, even alongside old habits, is real progress.

How can your mentor help?

How can Route 21 help?

Would it help to know about counseling resources or support groups available to you?
Mentor Wrap-Up:
Did the mentee identify one real, specific tool to try—not just a vague intention? If anything concerning about self-harm or substance use came up, follow up separately and connect them with a counselor or other professional rather than trying to resolve it in this conversation alone.