Exploring Identity and Values

Freshman Year · Spiritual · Required Lesson

Exploring Identity & Values

25–30 minutes Medium Required

Destination

By the end of this conversation, the mentee should be able to name a few core values that matter to them and describe one part of their identity they’re proud of.

Stop 1 of 4

Talk

Goal: Create space for the mentee to reflect on who they are, without steering them toward any particular belief system or set of “right” answers.

“You don’t have to have it all figured out. Figuring out who you are isn’t something that happens once—it’s something that keeps happening, and that’s completely normal.”

Choose three to five questions

1. If you had to describe yourself in five words, what would they be?
2. What’s something that’s shaped who you are—family, culture, a place you’ve lived, an experience?
3. Is there a part of your identity you feel really proud of?
4. Do you ever feel pressure to be someone different than who you actually are?
5. What matters most to you—what would you stand up for, even if it was unpopular?
Mentor Tip: This conversation should stay open to any background—religious, secular, cultural, or a mix. Your role is to help the mentee reflect on their own identity, not to steer them toward yours.

Stop 2 of 4

Learn

Identity has many parts

Identity is everything that makes you who you are—not just one label, but a combination of many pieces that fit together over time.

Values & beliefsWhat matters to you and why
Culture & backgroundFamily, community, heritage
Interests & strengthsWhat you enjoy and what you’re good at
Relationships & rolesFriend, sibling, teammate, and more
Route 21 Big Idea:
Identity isn’t something you find once and keep forever—it’s something you build and reshape throughout your whole life. Freshman year is just one chapter of that process.

What are values?

Values are the things that matter most to you—the ideas and principles that guide your decisions, especially the hard ones. Everyone’s values come from somewhere: family, culture, faith, experience, or a mix of all of it.

Some example values

Honesty Loyalty Family Courage Kindness Faith Independence Justice Creativity Community Achievement Curiosity

Values act like a compass—when a decision feels hard, checking it against what actually matters to you can help point toward an answer.

Exploration is healthy, not a warning sign

Trying on different interests, questioning what you were taught, or changing your mind about something isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a normal, healthy part of figuring out who you actually are, separate from what others expect.

Stop 3 of 4

Try

Name your top values

Looking at the value words above (or thinking of your own), pick two or three that feel most true to you right now.

Value 1___________
Value 2___________
Value 3___________
Can you think of a time one of these values actually guided a real decision you made?

Choose Your Route

Pick the video that best fits your time and interest today. You only need to watch one.

Level 1 · Quick Stop

Identity and Values

Approximately 3–5 minutes

A short, inclusive look at the different things that shape identity—values, culture, hobbies, and more.

Watch the Quick Stop
Talk afterward: Which piece of identity from the video feels most central to who you are?

Level 2 · Scenic Route

Who Are We? Teen Identity

Approximately 8–10 minutes

Real teens share how they define themselves and navigate being misunderstood or labeled by others.

Take the Scenic Route
Talk afterward: Did anything in the video match how you feel about being labeled or misunderstood?

Level 3 · Open Road

Authenticity in Adolescence

Approximately 10–13 minutes

A TEDx talk from a teenager exploring how to navigate competing influences and stay true to yourself during these years.

Explore the Open Road
Talk afterward: What’s one influence in your life that makes it harder to feel like “yourself”?
Mentor Reminder: Let the mentee choose the route whenever possible. The values named above matter more than the video.

Stop 4 of 4

Grow

Reflection

What’s one value you named today that you want to hold onto?
Is there a part of your identity you’d like to explore more?
Do you feel like your outside identity matches how you feel on the inside?
What questions do you still have?

Identity keeps growing

Who you are at 14 doesn’t have to match who you’ll be at 18 or 25. Staying curious about yourself is more useful than trying to lock in a fixed answer.

How can your mentor help?

How can Route 21 help?

Is there a group, community, or activity connected to your identity or interests that you’d want to explore?
Mentor Wrap-Up:
Did the mentee name real values, not just words they thought sounded good? Did the conversation stay open to their background, whatever it is, without steering them toward yours?